Wednesday, March 7, 2012

Ashamed vs Shaming

In one of my rants early today, I said (and I paraphrase) that "slut-shaming" was okay because women really shouldn't be proud of being sluts. And guys shouldn't either.

But I didn't mean that someone should call out someone in school, or a neighbor, and say, "You should be ashamed of yourself, you're a slut" - in order to modify their behavior.

I don't think shame should be used as a weapon.

Just as women who liked to play sports have been shamed into not playing, with words such as "Oh, if you like sports you must be gay," or "Good girls don't play sports,"

and then there's the girls who have been shamed out of going into the sciences because, "Oh, girls aren't any good at math. And you mustn't compete with boys," ya da ya da.

Besides, does shaming of teenagers really work? How many parents have told a daughter not to go out "dressed like a slut" and how many times has that daughter gone out anyway? Kids - in particular girls - have got to be taught from a young age to respect themselves and realize that they weren't put on this earth - by god or by nature or whatever - to be eye candy for men, which is what too many girls - and boys - think these days.

It'd help if we'd stop being bombarded by the media message that tells us that, every waking second of the day.... but unfortunately that's not going to happen.

And those who try to make it happen are "prudes" or "self-righteous" - and that's nothing to be ashamed of (unless they are hypocritical about it!)!

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